Thursday, May 5, 2011

Next Year?

What's new since Monday? 

Well, my records have officially been transferred over to the new RE's office.  What a pain it was dealing with the old RE's office staff.  Since I've requested my records, the Dr. has called me two times with about four different excuses as to why she didn't return my phone calls with answers to my questions.  These were the questions I asked almost a month ago when I found out my first IVF cycle failed.  (mostly insurance related) 

My latest question is - When will you refund me the $650 I paid up front for the embryo freezing?  ( I didn't have any that made it to the freezing point)  The secretary said she will leave a note for the doctor.  Ha!  How many times have I heard that before?!?!?!

I have mixed emotions about the upcoming holiday...I am really excited about spending the next couple days with my mom (and sister).  I don't get to see her as often as I would like to ...so definitely looking forward to our time together.  But then of course, there are the other emotions that come along with Mother's Day.  The most obvious & depressing one is every Mother's Day that comes along, I think to myself - "Maybe next year you will be a mom".  It hit me kind of hard today when I was printing out all the typed letters my third graders wrote to their mamas.  I couldn't help but thinking that I might never be the recipient of one of those sweet, thoughtful, precious letters. 

Sending love to all the mothers out there.  I refuse to lose hope.  I hope I can join the celebration...next year.

5 comments:

Shelley said...

{{{hugs}}}

Amanda said...

Holidays in general are hard for me too, because I can remember my optism from last year, and here I am, STILL not pregnant...and it makes it hard for me to continue imagining what the next year will bring.

Hang in there..I hope you have a great time with your mom and sister!

Andrea said...

I agree with Amanda. Holidays are just so difficult. And then to add salt to my wounds, I like to go on Facebook to torture myself even further.

I'm thinking of you, and hoping you enjoy a wonderful day with your mom and sis!

Blooming Woman said...

ugh, changing REs is such a pain! After basically ignoring you and treating you like nothing they suddenly want to call a bunch and ask why you're having your records transferred... so annoying. I'd say just ignore him, but since yours owes you money i'd do the opposite and keep hounding him until you get it!

I spend most of the year dreading mother's day. last year hubs and i rented a hotel room downtown and just stayed in bed saturday night to monday morning eating bad food and watching bad TV. it was the best thing we ever did! we even had a jacuzzi tub in our room. i highly recommend it. hope your mom and sister lift your spirits, i'll be thinking of you

amiracle4us said...

Next year....that is my dream for us both:)
I try to concentrate on celebrating my mom this holiday, but with her not here (out of town) it makes that even hard!!
Wishing a calming, happy weekend for you :)