Thursday, June 28, 2012

Week 34

Very happy to report that things are still going really well.  I had my 34 week check-up yesterday - my blood pressure was good, baby's heart rate was perfect (150's), and I was measuring 34.5 cm. I asked about the shots of pelvic pain I've been having and my dr. said that is normal.  He could describe my aches and pains to a T, which reassured me that they are indeed normal.  He said right now the baby is head down - yay - please stay there lil one! My next appt will be in two weeks, at 36 weeks.  That appointment will be the start of the "coveted weekly appointments" as he phrased it.  I will have the Strep B test at this appt and my cervix will be checked!  

We also interviewed our first pediatrician this week.  I had received numerous recommendations from friends for this specific pediatrician, so felt like it was a good starting point.  Well, we loved her - definitely a match!  She explained to us that she will come see baby within 24 hours of his birth and then went over how often she would see him after that, gave us information about the practice, etc.   She was a young doctor (35) and extremely outgoing and easy to talk to.  So we have our pediatrician!!!

We also registered with the hospital for my upcoming stay.  Things are definitely starting to feel more real.

I want to be completely honest on this blog and document ALL of my feelings. I can't sit here and say that my life has been anxiety free.  That is far from the truth.  I still am having a hard time letting go to fully enjoy this pregnancy.  Every night and every morning I continue to pray that this little guy gets here safely.  I also pray that God will comfort me during this time and reassure me that everything will be okay.  Some days are much better than others.  I don't know if this is something every pregnant woman goes through or if its an effect of everything I've been through.  I remember being early on in the second trimester and people saying, "Oh you will feel better once you can feel him moving around."  That held true, for awhile.  But now that he is so active, I freak out any time I don't feel him (even though I'm fully aware he has a sleep-wake cycle).

I really appreciate a recent blog post from "M" over at a A Fine Mess.  She posted a passage called "Don't Worry" from the book, Journey to the Heart by Melodie Beattie.  M, I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to post it here too, because I really found it to be helpful.

"Worrying doesn't help. Our worries haven't prevented one disaster along the way. At times, the only thing they've prevented is our joy. Our worries are fear. We say, I will worry and be fearful until things have worked out, only then can I relax and enjoy. Our worries are self-punishment, a form of not forgiving ourselves, not loving ourselves, not trusting. 

We may think that worrying helps ward off trouble, but that's an illusion. Sometimes worrying brings troubles upon us, because we're so caught up in our fear that we don't take the responsible steps we need to take. By neglecting our lives due to worry and fear, we may bring needless consequences upon ourselves. 

The lesson is trust. When we're trusting, we let go of our fear, confident that what we want and need will come. We trust that if what comes appears to be trouble or hardship, we will get what we need to get through that, too. When we trust, we get peaceful first, before we get what we want, before we see what the future brings. 

Worry and fear are the opposite of love.
Love yourself more that you ever have.
Love yourself enough to stop worrying.
Love yourself enough to give yourself the gift of peace." 

I'm going to work real hard at achieving this message - giving myself the gift of peace by trusting God.  A good friend of mine texted me the other day and said "God will take care of both of you".  I keep repeating that over and over in my head and it really does help.

Hope all of you are doing well wherever you may be in your journey.  I continue to pray for each and every one of you.

I can't wait to post again soon and tell you all about the amazing shower my sister threw for me last weekend.  :)

I always try to post a weekly pic - and the only one I have (other than baby shower pics)  is a pic right after my massage last week.  SO relaxing! :)


Do I Have to Be a D.I.N.K.? said...

Thanks for the reminder. I also let my worries steal my joy.

Jesica said...

It's been hard to let go and embrace pregnancy, every time I think I've done it I find something new to worry about. That being said I don't feel like I worried away the pregnancy and I was able to enjoy it even while I was worried.

Good luck with the last 6 weeks!

M said...

I'm not sure where my comment went. I'm so glad you enjoyed the passage. You still look great!